Relapse
by Reckreator
Summary: An unexpected encounter on the streets sends Lara back into the shadows. One-shot.


Happy S.S Endurance week! This is my small contribution to the celebration and there will be another one soon. It is a sequel to my other fic, Insanity, thought you don't need to read it to understand this.

Thank you to CosmicGunslinger for beta'ing this, and I hope you guys enjoy it.

Image belongs to maru-sketches.

* * *

Lara shivered and zipped up the front of her leather hoodie. It was awfully windy tonight, though she should be glad that it had stopped raining. The sun was setting over the high-rise buildings in London and the street lights were just beginning to come on.

She had just finished a session with Erin, her psychologist, and was heading back to her apartment.

The sessions were going well. Erin was patient and managed to help her without being condescending. Today, they had went through a few of the kills she had to do on Yamatai. It was confronting, but it was necessary.

Lara pressed her lips together and shook her head. Some of her actions still troubled her. There was a part of her that she would always be afraid of- how she revelled in the bloodshed, and the power she felt. It was a part of her, but she could control it.

Her phone chimed and she took it out. It was a message from Sam.

 _Hey babe could u pick up some thai from that shop for dinner? Thx_

Lara sighed and turned around. Sam couldn't have told her that before? But then again, she had been cooking the whole past week, so she did deserve a break. She texted back;

 _Fine_

She was walking back down the street when she heard a scuffle.

Lara tensed immediately and looked in front of her from where the sound had come from. She scanned the streets but the only people around were the few business people returning home. There was nothing threatening about them at all.

With some effort, Lara forced her hands to unclench and continue walking. It was nothing. She was just being paranoid again.

"Let me go!"

Lara was already running before the thought had processed in her brain. Her heart had kicked started, and her world narrowed to her one goal. She skidded into an alleyway and saw a woman trying to pull away from a tall man. He looked ridiculously strong- large muscles which must have been because of steroids. He had a hold of the woman's wrist, and was trying to pull her closer to him.

Lara felt her senses alight but Erin's voice echoed in her mind.

 _When you feel scared or angry, take a breath and count to three._

 _One._

"I said _let go_ Ethan."

 _Two._

"Come on Beth, be reasonable," he said.

 _Three._

"Hey!" Lara called out, walking towards them. She glared at the man dangerously, but made no move to attack. "Is there something wrong here?"

"This man won't leave me alone!" Beth cried, trying to tug her arm free.

Ethan turned to face Lara but didn't let go. The look in his eyes…they were dark and focused, the same as some of the Solari that were trying to kill her. "This is none of your business mate," he said. "Stay out of it."

" _Mate_ ," she said sarcastically, taking a step forward, "She wants you to leave her alone. So _do it_."

Ethan merely growled at her. "Back off girly."

Lara shoved him, forcing him to let go of Beth in surprise. "She told you to _let go_ ," she said. She stepped forward and placed herself between the woman and her assailant.

"Ethan, we're _over,_ " Beth said behind her. "So just leave me _alone_." She turned and practically ran out of the alley.

Ethan tried to run after her but Lara stepped in the way. "Leave-"

He swung at her.

Lara ducked and jabbed his solar plexus reflexively. She stepped out of the way as Ethan doubled over, gasping. Lara clenched her fist to punch him in the head when she realised what she was doing. _Hit him,_ a voice whispered.

She didn't need to do this she thought. The man was already subdued.

Lara gritted her teeth and channelled her rage into her voice. "Stay away from her," she growled, her voice barely containing her anger. "Or I will _hunt_ you down."

The man coughed and glared daggers at her. He charged and Lara dodged neatly out of the way. However he turned with surprising speed and caught her in the head with a hammer fist.

Lara fell from the sheer strength of the blow, gasping. Her vision blurred heavily and she could feel blood trickle down her face as she struggled to stand up. A foot landed hard in her ribs and she flew back, pain exploding in her chest.

"That was my girlfriend you piece of shit." Another explosion of pain in her ribs. "You had _no right_ interfering. "

 _Get up,_ a dark voice commanded. _Kill him._

Lara rolled away just in time to avoid another kick. She stumbled onto her feet but Ethan grabbed her and shoved her against the wall, lifting her up. Two large hands wrapped around her throat, squeezing.

Lara struggled weakly but her head was still swimming from the previous blow. She kicked uselessly at the Ethan's knees but he squeezed tighter, stony faced, the edge of his lips twitching.

Lara felt fear for the first time since Yamatai. It paralysed her, rooting her to the spot and sticking in the back of her throat so she couldn't breathe. Electricity flickered through her muscles, screaming desperately for her to run.

She could feel herself losing consciousness, the world in front of her blurring. Ethan smiled crookedly and the next word he spoke came out in a Russian accent. " _Good_."

It was that familiar accent that made everything click. Like flipping a switch, the electricity started sparking dangerously in her body. A bolt arced through the haziness in the back of her mind, and straight into her muscles.

 _Kill him,_ a voice ordered.

Lara jerked her knee sharply into the man's groin. His eyes widened and he dropped her.

Lara gasped and coughed as air entered her lungs again. She growled and poked him in the eyes and then shoved him back.

"Argh!" he yelled. "Fuck you, you-" Lara kicked his chest, sending him back against the opposite wall.

Before he could recover, Lara grabbed the back of his neck and slammed his face into the wall as hard as she could. Over and over and over.

She didn't care that the blood splattered all over her face, onto her shirt and onto her hands. She was going to make this bastard pay, for what he had done to her, her friends, and to everyone else.

Lara could feel tears in her eyes when she slammed his head into the wall one final time. She stopped, breathing heavily and taking a step back.

Lara was numb as she looked at the splatter of blood on the wall; a dark red, violent explosion. Her gaze slowly followed the blood pooling around Ethan's head and sour taste built up in her mouth. Even though he was facedown, she knew she had broken his skull- she had heard the familiar _crack_ of bone breaking.

Lara took another step back, unable to rip her eyes away from the mess. Her mind was moving so slowly, but her eyes gradually widened as she realised what she had done.

 _Oh my god…_

She looked down at her hands; sticky with drying blood, knuckles bruised and ripped from assault.

Panic started to build up in the back of her throat. Fear took over again, but this time, she ran.

* * *

Sam pursed her lips at the clip she was editing. This cameraman, or woman, they should seriously get fired for these terrible shots. If they only moved three feet to the right she was pretty sure they would have got some better angles.

She heard the door open and stood up. God she was hungry. She could have cooked tonight but she had been craving Thai food since this morning.

"Hey sweetie-" she stopped mid-stride when she saw how tense Lara was. Her hood was drawn up and she hadn't moved since she came in. "What's wrong?" she asked, walking up to her. "What happened?"

Lara looked at her, but said nothing. Up closer, Sam could see that her hands were bloody, and that there was also blood on her shirt. And was that…?

Sam pulled back Lara's hood and her eyes widened. There was a large bruise on her temple, and a rivulet of blood drying on her face.

"What happened?" Sam asked, looking up at her.

Lara ground her teeth nervously. "It…I didn't mean to lose control," she said quietly.

Sam waited for her to continue.

Lara licked her lips and looked away from her. "I…got in a fight," she said. "He was harassing a woman, and I told him to stop. But he wouldn't, so then he hit me…and I hit him."

 _What?_ Sam wanted to say, but she didn't. Instead she just gaped at Lara which wasn't much better.

"I'm sorry Sam, I didn't mean to."

The hurt in her voice started her brain again. She nodded slightly, automatically. "I... know sweetie. It's not your fault. You were trying to protect someone." She took her hand and dragged her to the couch. "I'm going to get you cleaned up. Just…stay, I'll go get the first aid kit."

Lara caught her hand. There was a haunted look in her eyes. "I don't know if he's alive Sam," she whispered.

Sam took too long to respond again and Lara let go of her hand, looking down. "Lara," Sam said quickly. "Don't worry. I'm sure someone would have found him and brought him to a hospital by now. So he'll probably be fine."

Lara nodded, not looking at her. "Let's get you cleaned up first and then we can talk about it," Sam said, walking to the bathroom.

God, what the fuck? What the fuck just happened?

Sam hadn't felt this lost in a long time.

It felt like years since an incident like this had happened, yet she wasn't as comforting as she should have been. She didn't know what to say- what the right words were that would calm her down. After Lara had began to readjust to society, she had just...ignored that the possibility that something like this could happen again.

Lara was probably exaggerating right? She wasn't thinking straight after something like that. The guy couldn't have been dead.

But she knew what Lara was like in a fight- she had seen how her shy friend had changed into a lioness when she was cornered. The man she had beaten was probably dead.

Sam found the first aid kit in the drawer in the bathroom and stared at it for a while.

Lara's recovery was going well. She was happier around the house and was getting back into archaeology like she was back in Uni. They went out a lot more because as she gradually became more comfortable in crowds.

But now today had happened, and she knew this was going to bring them back two steps.

When she went back, Lara was at the sink, gripping the side of the basin and watching the water run down the drain. She had cleaned her hands and her face, though blood was starting to dribble down her cheek again.

Sam went over to her and turned off the water. Then she gently put a hand over her friend's clenched fist. "Come on," she said. "You need to get those gashes fixed. Go sit on the couch."

Lara nodded and walked quietly over, with Sam close behind her. Sam opened the kit and took out the materials she would need. Antiseptic, gauze, scissors, band-aids-

"I don't know what's wrong with me," Lara whispered quietly.

Sam looked up. Her friend had her face buried in her hands. She looked small and fragile, so unlike the 'monster' that she thought she was.

Sam sat next to her and gently put an arm around her. "Nothing's wrong with you Lara," she said. "He was attacking you. You had a right to defend yourself. And you probably saved that woman."

"But I should have stopped," Lara said, "He was out after the first hit, but I…I kept going."

Sam sighed. What could she say? Yeah, you should have? No, you were right to keep going? "Maybe you should talk to Erin," she suggested.

"No!" Lara exclaimed, pulling back abruptly. "I can't talk to her."

"She knows how to-"

"Erin is a _psychologist_ ," Lara interrupted. "She's required to report things like assault to the police."

"Are you sure? What about patient-client confidentiality?"

Lara winced and shook her head. "I…I don't know. But I'd rather not risk it."

Sam sighed again and nodded. "Okay then." She poured some antiseptic onto a rag. Lara hissed when she touched the rag to the raw spot but remained still.

She was done within a few minutes, and then she put the items back in the first aid kit. "Are you hungry?" Sam asked, "I could probably order some take away."

Lara shook her head. "I think I might just go to sleep," she said quietly.

"Oh...Okay. I'll... be here if you need me then, Lara."

Lara nodded and walked to her room.

As soon as she heard the door close Sam let out a sigh. She had no idea how to help Lara. Maybe she should have asked if she wanted to talk about it. Or maybe she should have just hugged her and kept her mouth shut.

Sam bit her lip and walked to the kitchen. Maybe she'll deal with this later. When she had some food in her stomach and time to think about it.

* * *

Sam couldn't sleep, feeling restless for the first time in months. Her rest was fleeting and light, her thoughts constantly drifting to what had happened today.

Why did Lara do that? Couldn't she have stopped herself? What if the police found out it was her? What would happen?

Sam sat up in the darkness and rubbed her face. It was three in the morning yet the questions would not stop plaguing her mind.

She took a deep breath, trying to calm down. Maybe a drink would help. A glass of water, or some milk.

Sam got out of bed and stood up. It was cold, so she took her blanket with her. As she walked into the kitchen she felt someone else in the room and looked to her left.

Lara was sitting on the couch, knees pulled up to her chest. She was staring blankly at the opposite wall. Sam hesitated briefly before walking over to her.

"Couldn't sleep?" she asked quietly, sitting down next to her.

Lara shook her head. "They're back," she answered, taking a deep breath.

Sam frowned. It had taken a few months before Lara stopped having nightmares and actually had proper sleep. Lara was irritable and moody during those times, and it had been so hard to bring her out of it.

Sam pulled the blanket closer around her. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

Lara sighed. "I thought things were going well," she said quietly, "I know…that I can be violent sometimes but I haven't felt that urge in a long time. I thought I could control it…But today…" her gaze became unfocused.

"What do you think happened?"

"I went back to Yamatai," she said. Sam felt a shiver run down her spine when she heard the name of that cursed place. "I lost control, and let my instincts take over again."

She exhaled and leaned forward. "Christ Sam, I think I killed him. You should have seen what I did to his face."

"Don't do this to yourself Lara," she said, remembering something. "You were protecting someone. You did that on Yamatai and you still do it. You always put others before yourself, and that's what makes you a good person."

Lara leaned back into the couch. She looked less stressed than before. "I just wish I wasn't like this," she said, "That I could be fixed and stay that way."

"You know that can't happen," Sam said, wrapping the blanket around her friend. "But you're healing, and you are getting better. This is just another obstacle you need to overcome."

Lara nodded and leaned into her. Her skin was cold, but Sam didn't mind: she just fixed the blanket around both of them. "Thanks," Lara murmured, her head resting on her chest. "Could we stay here for a while?"

Sam smiled and settled into the couch. "Of course," she said.

* * *

Sam awoke the next morning to the smell of coffee and the voice of their local news reporter.

She sat up slowly and rubbed her neck, hissing. It was stiff from having slept on the couch last night.

"Good morning," Lara said from the kitchen. She placed a mug down on the bench next to a plate of toast. "I made you coffee."

Sam stood up and went over to her. "Thanks," she said. She took a sip and felt warmth spread through her body.

"It's the least I can do," she said, smiling. She turned to the T.V and took a sip of her own coffee.

"We need to get a better couch," Sam murmured. "It's not as comfortable as I thought it was."

Lara smiled wryly. "Maybe we should if I end up having more restless nights." Sam furrowed her brow at her and she coughed awkwardly. "Sorry, I was just joking."

"No…" Sam said, smiling uncertainly. "I just wasn't expecting that." It was dark humour, but it was still humour. Maybe she was more okay than she had thought.

Lara smiled and took a bite of her own toast. It was only after she swallowed it that she spoke again. "Thank you for last night," she said quietly. "I…I'm glad you're here Sam."

Sam walked around to the other side of the counter and wrapped an arm around her waist in a hug. "I'm glad I could help," she murmured, her head resting against her friend's. She didn't really know what the magic words she had said were, but she was happy that they had managed to help her best friend.

She stayed like that for a moment longer before she pulled away to find the butter for her toast.

"… _And a violent bashing last night in a London alleyway has left a young man in hospital."_

Sam froze and turned around to the T.V. There was a video of a man being wheeled into an ambulance. She recognised the spot as the route which Lara took to get to Erin's office.

"… _A female in a black jacket was seen fleeing the scene a few minutes before Ethan Rogers was found."_ The reporter continued.

" _Police are urging anyone who has any information about the incident to come forward…"_

Shit. This had to be Lara's victim yesterday.

Sam watched her friend carefully. Much to her confusion, she didn't seem afraid or angry. Her features were expressionless; the same visage which she often wore these days.

Before Sam could enquire about it, Lara spoke. "I'm going to tell the police," she said.

"What?!" Sam exclaimed. Did she really just hear that?

Lara sighed and turned to her. She was too calm for what was happening. "It's the right thing to do," she said.

"Have you even thought this through Lara?" Sam asked, striding back to her. "You could go to jail for assault!"

"I have thought about it Sam, and I can't run from this. I'm going to be caught eventually. That guy's ex-girlfriend saw me."

Sam gaped at her and took several deep breaths, trying to calm her racing thoughts. What was Lara thinking? She could go to jail because of this! Sure, she would probably be fine but why would she want to do that to herself?

Lara put her hands on her shoulders and turned Sam to look at her. "It's going to be okay Sam," she said calmly. "I'll explain things. He was attacking his ex _and_ he attacked me first. I'm sure that if I do this, and maybe if they get his ex to testify, that I will be fine pleading self-defence."

Sam looked at her. "You're not the one in hospital Lara," she said. "Who do you think they're going to believe?"

Lara closed her eyes for a moment and frowned. Sam could see her wavering and was about to seize on the hesitation when she opened her eyes again. "I'll have to take that chance." Her eyes softened and she squeezed her shoulders lightly. "I _have_ to do this Sam," she said earnestly. "I need to be able to accept the consequences of my actions, no matter how harsh they may be. Please just…understand."

Sam sighed and wrapped her arms tight around Lara, resting her chin on her shoulder. If this was what Lara needed to move forward then so be it.

She _should_ be okay legally though. Lara _was_ just acting in self-defence, and she had PTSD which would help explain her actions. A part of Sam was worried about what the press would make of this- they were going to have a field day for sure but she would do her best to minimize it.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Sam asked, pulling back so she could look her friend in the eye.

Lara held her gaze and nodded. "It's what I have to do," she said.

Sam took a deep breath. "Okay then."


End file.
